Sorry I have been away for a bit, but there was government to attend to. And a country to run, you see.
But first, Did you hear, Grace will not be facing any charges in Hong Kong for beating up that British photographer. Just as I expected, I say. She has diplomatic immunity, as it should be. That will teach those photographers not to get near us next time we pop over there to see our daughter at University. Even she, our daughter, has diplomatic immunity.
Then of course, there is the issue THIS GOVERNMENT WITH TSVANGIRAI. He is turning out to be not so bad, despite what some people say. Indeed, my hearing is not what it used to be, as some nosy ones have been told by people who are with me everyday. But I can still run the country fine, you see. I have not yet reached the stage where I need a hearing aid like Nelson Mandela.
This government of national unity thing is working out fine, as far as I can tell. Tsvangirai's crew has now admitted that there are indeed sanctions on Zimbabwe. Britain is hopping mad about all this, as they should, since they are the ones who turned the whole world against us on account of land that we took back.
But we are not playing games with Tsvangirai and the MDC here. We are in power, they were just brought in to sort out the mess they created by calling for sanctions. After that, we go our seperate ways. Unless, of course, the MDC agree to be swallowed like we did with the party of Joshua Nkomo.
My army guys certainly seem to think we can achieve the feat of getting the MDC to capitulate. It is only a matter of stirring the pot a bit. We are on our way.
On the home front, and regards domestic issues, we really are indeed deeply sorry about the death of Mirgan dear wife, Susan. I really feel for him. I know how it feels to lose a wife. Our hearts go out to him. Grace was going to take her under her own wing and teach her a few things about being the wife of a senior politician. But that never came to be.
Speaking of the accident, we are absolutely sure that the British and the Americans are up to something on this. White farmers seem to be involved and I fear they may be trying to kill the Prime Minister for finally seeing that I am not such a bad person after all.
Some people are saying that I had a hand in the accident. The locals and some Africans say I used voodo magic or witchcraft to cause that accident.
Then again, they also say that I used some magic to get rid of Levy Mwanawasa of Zambia, who died of a stroke!!! I must have very powerful sangomas indeed. I assure you, if anything supernatural happens, it is all down to my God and my ancestors protecting me.
They must just pay up, their sanctions on us caused all these problems we face in Zimbabwe. They must pay up, full stop.
As for the kids, well Bona is back in Hong Kong, at the university. She is doing well there, although I am not sure about her English boyfriend, whom the mother has seen but I have not. He is scared of me, apparently.
Well, it has been fun, so I will leave you to it, hey. See you soon soon. Cheerio.
But first, Did you hear, Grace will not be facing any charges in Hong Kong for beating up that British photographer. Just as I expected, I say. She has diplomatic immunity, as it should be. That will teach those photographers not to get near us next time we pop over there to see our daughter at University. Even she, our daughter, has diplomatic immunity.
Then of course, there is the issue THIS GOVERNMENT WITH TSVANGIRAI. He is turning out to be not so bad, despite what some people say. Indeed, my hearing is not what it used to be, as some nosy ones have been told by people who are with me everyday. But I can still run the country fine, you see. I have not yet reached the stage where I need a hearing aid like Nelson Mandela.
This government of national unity thing is working out fine, as far as I can tell. Tsvangirai's crew has now admitted that there are indeed sanctions on Zimbabwe. Britain is hopping mad about all this, as they should, since they are the ones who turned the whole world against us on account of land that we took back.
But we are not playing games with Tsvangirai and the MDC here. We are in power, they were just brought in to sort out the mess they created by calling for sanctions. After that, we go our seperate ways. Unless, of course, the MDC agree to be swallowed like we did with the party of Joshua Nkomo.
My army guys certainly seem to think we can achieve the feat of getting the MDC to capitulate. It is only a matter of stirring the pot a bit. We are on our way.
On the home front, and regards domestic issues, we really are indeed deeply sorry about the death of Mirgan dear wife, Susan. I really feel for him. I know how it feels to lose a wife. Our hearts go out to him. Grace was going to take her under her own wing and teach her a few things about being the wife of a senior politician. But that never came to be.
Speaking of the accident, we are absolutely sure that the British and the Americans are up to something on this. White farmers seem to be involved and I fear they may be trying to kill the Prime Minister for finally seeing that I am not such a bad person after all.
Some people are saying that I had a hand in the accident. The locals and some Africans say I used voodo magic or witchcraft to cause that accident.
Then again, they also say that I used some magic to get rid of Levy Mwanawasa of Zambia, who died of a stroke!!! I must have very powerful sangomas indeed. I assure you, if anything supernatural happens, it is all down to my God and my ancestors protecting me.
They must just pay up, their sanctions on us caused all these problems we face in Zimbabwe. They must pay up, full stop.
As for the kids, well Bona is back in Hong Kong, at the university. She is doing well there, although I am not sure about her English boyfriend, whom the mother has seen but I have not. He is scared of me, apparently.
Well, it has been fun, so I will leave you to it, hey. See you soon soon. Cheerio.
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